just some thoughts at a coffee shop

a little girl smiles
sitting on a cover of a magazine
smiling
smiling
she’s beautiful
the text around her face
says she’s from so and so country
devastated by war and poverty
we need to buy shit and give her money
[not rethink our policies]
next to the little girl on the magazine
sits a API sister typing away on her blackberry
surrounded by her 2 big Coach bags, she’s smiling
smiling into that blackberry
i’m supposed to be like her
the spitting image of success (social mobility and all that)
we even have the same haircut
except today mine is dirty and hiding under a hat

how can i make them happy?
most white americans would say do what makes YOU happy
and though there is truth to this,
how can i be happy if my family is not?
i’d lie– i do lie– if it kept my family together in one piece
i’d bury parts of myself
pulling these parts out at night, examining them
in poems, letters,
conversations
the sun coming up, i’d put them away tidily in their compartments
until it was time to pull them out again
no this story is not new
maybe your out and proud just doesn’t work for me
maybe i like it this way
queer with my girls
quiet at home
is it your business anyways?
i’m more complicated than that.
ha—
i say all that shit and then a sister in a postal uniform shows up
and i’m like fuck that fake happy bullshit
tossing this poem away,
smiling and saying hello

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1 Comment

Filed under queer issues/culture, woc, writing/poetry

One response to “just some thoughts at a coffee shop

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