bullshit sunday morning poems

and we danced til the sun came up*
and we danced til the sun came up
and we danced til the sun came up

liberation…
reclamation…
taking our bodies back…
decolonizing ourselves…
protecting our hearts vigilantly;
feeding ourselves
with love notes
lyrics
laughter of children
real conversations with each other

…but shit, really
what does liberation of self even mean?
how do i take back what was/
and is
already mine?
this is my body/
lungs expanding, how can i live
without owning it?

is liberation a place we go
a book we read together at your kitchen table over coffee
a path we cross unexpectingly when given the choice
a piercing anthem we write for our headphones
a picture we paint with only our fingers?

does liberation exist within—
something we can find in our skin,
the core of our bodies,
the veins of our blood
if we go deep enough,
exploring openly?

is liberation something that happens with god,
a higher being?
is it a private affair? a prayer? the word?

is liberation community?
a guarding wall that keeps the good in, the bad out
collectiveness, loved ones, the people,
maybe liberation is saying you, my friend, are brave!
thank you for your truth.

is liberation something that occurs within a relationship with another person?
secrets shared
trust built?

is it all of the above?

no i never have the answer…
i don’t live expectin to.
all i want is to live without fear that they will come to take me
more experiments,
more markings on my body, my community
coming in, leaving nothing but a trail of destruction
telling us we are not fit to coexist in this world
leaving us dismantled and powerless

i am tired of being angry
scared
feeling defenseless
i know self-liberation is power…
the thing is– is self-liberation really useful
if the fear we have is not just a fear
but a constantly reality for our people?

where do we go then?
what is liberation?

and look, here we go again—this poem wasn’t even supposed to be about activism—
but here we are
dismantling systems of oppression
fighting
resisting.
in the words of john fuentes
–aka sabac red—
organizing is freedom.

*this is the hook from “Two to Tango”, a song on Xperience’s 2006 Soultree album.

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