recap on the weekend

I feel hopeless when I’m supposed to be speaking on sexual consciousness but am feeling disconnected from my own body because I don’t look white, skinny, or able-bodied like the masses of queer people there

I feel like I’m misleading people and betraying my own when I talk about disability in a cross-disability intersectional framework and the only visual image people are getting is that disability=mobility because the only disabled people presenting (including myself) are wheelchair users

I feel home when I fly into North Carolina and am surrounded by bodies of all sizes, shapes and colors— my, how one can miss this love/hate relationship with the South is surprising

Like this weekend, I sometimes feel invisible

Like this weekend, I sometimes feel like I talk about disability too much, but this is hard to balance when I feel like I am brought somewhere to only talk about disability

Like this weekend, I am unsure what the future holds or what community actually looks like for me

Here’s to friends that remind me why I am in this, the spirit of community, and those disabled people and allies who through all this, made the sessions and trip worthwhile.

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8 Comments

Filed under ableism, activism, community, disability, queer, queer issues/culture

8 responses to “recap on the weekend

  1. You are never invisible.

    Never, to me.

    You are as visible as the horizon, the split between two worlds.
    You are as visible as the stem, holding the petals and roots together.

    You are never invisible.

    Never, to me.

  2. I see you.

    (in a good way, I mean)

    Navigating these waters – not fun, not easy.

  3. Anna Aniston

    Yeah totally.

    The last workshop I did was about feminism at a DIY conference where very few of the women and men had much of a feminist consciousness. They tended to see it as being fairly outmoded. We copped a lot of flack for our decision to make the workshop women-only because our organising was women-only.

    Some of us felt like we’d come out of our workshop as the “feminist voice” of the event, the token. Because we were there, other people didn’t have to address their latent sexism (for example the right to have a women’s space). I was introduced to these 2 uni students afterwards who wanted to meet me as someone who “was into feminism” but we had nothing to say to each other. More separated us than united us.

    That’s ok, though. Not everyone can be a “comrade” in the struggle.

  4. Aaminah

    Darling, you cannot control who is present at such things. But what you share, from your experience and your knowledge, still benefits them. Maybe next year it will be more diverse because word will have gotten around that there was a Corean girl who talked about more than just one kind of disability… and all those people who didn’t go this year because they thought they’d be the only PoC or the only one with a different disability will try it out next year. It is lonely to be the pioneer, but we all need pioneers. You are not alone or invisible in our lives. 🙂

  5. I agree with Aaminah – you are not alone or invisible in our lives.

    “how one can miss this love/hate relationship with the South is surprising” – Truly. Right now I miss the sound of birds outside my window every morning, crystal clear, and the smell of corn growing… I am a little tired of the cars and buildings, everywhere…

  6. Yeah, whenever I leave the south, I notice how everyone seems to look TV-beautiful. Nice to come back to a place where I’m allowed to have a big butt!

    And the south is lovelier with you here, too! 🙂

  7. daisy i so know what you mean on the big butts. thank goodness for that!!

    to the rest of you— ❤ ❤ ❤

  8. sweetperdition

    We can’t be anyone other than who we are. Of course, that’s easy for me to say, and is something I need to work on :).

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