so you guys..

This is becoming a common thread in my life
but what do you do
when people are stealing from you?

And it’s not just co-opting a project
Hijacking something for political purposes
But taking it in such a way that it sucks out the very spirit of your dream?
Kills the reason for which it was started?

I envision a world where lovers, activists, mentors, mentees, and dreamers can come together in a way that is not about making money, reputation or success.

But tomorrow, as in Thursday and not a metaphor for the ever evolving future, what do you do?



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11 responses to “so you guys..

  1. Call them on it, painful as it may be to do so. If that doesn’t work, call them on it in public.

  2. rich

    It sounds trite, but do your own shit and don’t worry about them. Somebody who has to steal your ideas has none of their own. If they’ve irrevocably hijacked one idea, let it go and be on with the next one.

  3. I had a best friend steal from me. She became less than a best friend after that. I was forced to put her at a distance from me, but I couldn’t just extricate myself from our friendship, because I still saw her everywhere. That, and at that point in my life, I didn’t have enough friends just to get rid of one, even if she did deserve it. But we stopped being as close, and I stopped telling her so much. I guess the relationship became largely artificial after that point.

    BTW, completely unrelated . . . I wrote a post about the ABCs of my positive aspects –

    If you wanted to write one like it (it’s pretty simple, but nice), then I’ll link to you in the post. Same goes for anyone else who wants to do so. I just think we need to see some positive qualities of people altogether for once. 🙂

  4. Yup, I’ve had that happen. What do you do? Rise above. Leave any group that you started and they took over and co-opted, and make sure everyone else knows why, in a non-confrontational way.

    “Jane, I’m bowing out of this project at this time. I don’t feel the direction in which you are taking my idea fits my vision, and honestly I feel angry and sad that this idea of mine is being used in a way that doesn’t fit the spirit in which it was intended.”

  5. “Power is never given back.
    When it’s stolen,
    if you want it back,
    you must take it.” – Merce Caballero

    This is my mantra. How do YOU want it back? What does getting your power back mean to you?

  6. Anna Aniston

    Steal something of theirs. Let them think about it when they ask for it back and you say nothing.

  7. i’m not in a position to co-op anything of theirs, i think that’s a huge reason why it happens.. for me it’s been people in some form of power who are allies/mentors and then something changes along the line

    definitely hear you guys on that power has to be taken back if it’s stolen. i wrote a letter and the person responded. it’s step one of an on-going happening-all-the-time process

  8. thinkfreestyle

    Congrats on writing the letter! That is a huge step and something that is, well, scary. I hope the response is respectful.
    Just remember, no matter what the response, you followed your heart and stuck up for yourself. Congrats!

  9. “it’s step one of an on-going happening-all-the-time process”

    Kind of like life in general! Just when you think it’s smooth sailing, there’s another wave. But, I have confidence in you. You seem like a pretty good captain! : )

  10. One of my mentors stole from me, too. He didn’t “suck the heart out of it”– just made it look like it was his.

    It was weird, since I put my pseudonym on it anyway, so nobody knew it was “me”–but still, he *took* it. These excerpts are in a book with his name on it, in fact. I’ve never discussed this before! I was in awe of him, so didn’t know how to deal with it. I was also very young.

    It hurt… we ended up not speaking for… well, many, many years.

    And then he died.

    I regret the years we didn’t speak, but honestly, I don’t know how else I should have handled it. Just sharing my experience here.

    I know how you feel, my love.

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