Adding to what Sudy wrote, because she says it all too perfectly: “It was not so much that I was different, it was more the fact that everyone assumed that I was just like them.”
At first I was ashamed of you—you weren’t white enough.
You didn’t follow their customs, instead you seemed to make up your own
Sleepovers with friends weren’t allowed, no no
but a biannual feeding of the teachers was tradition
Egg rolls, bulgogi, rice, even a lunch party at my house one year
(maybe that’s why they gave me good grades? I mean, damn, egg rolls aren’t even Corean!)
When I needed a bra, you refused and instead of taking me shopping like other mothers did, you talked about how you were a shy school girl who ran away when she saw boys on the other side of the street
Maybe I wanted to be a shy school girl too! But you were letting my chest overflow, how could I?
That’s when I knew you were a person who would argue that problems don’t exist
But that problem was growing and being female
and being disabled
And confusingly white
All at the same time