my soul needs more

this was lex-spired, i wrote this after reading an amazing editorial she wrote on community.

my soul needs more than someone to tip my hat to
in the lines at the grocery store
my heart needs more than board meetings
once-a-year parades
conference after-parties
rallies on the hill and at the statehouse
yes, when my heart beats
i know it’s telling me it needs so much more

i want to be around people who understand the physical science involved with trying to fit 3 wheelchairs in one elevator
“can you go to the left?” “okay maybe i can fold my foot rests”
“alright i think the door will close!”
skid marks on the elevator walls will mark our presence and afterwards a mother with a stroller will try to close the door before others can get in
(and i’m not sure i’d blame her)

i want to see my deaf friend terp [voice, interpret] for my crip friend who has a soar throat
‘cause though we love the crip friend, we seriously have no idea what she’s saying
lucky for us, our deaf friend reads lips and that’s what community is about

i want to be at a picnic and see a whole throng of disabled people dissipate in a matter of seconds
because rain clouds are coming this way
and no one wants to push a chair that’s gonna short out
especially for powerchair users who stay behind to chat with cute girls under way-too-tiny umbrellas

most of all, i want people who will understand why i am outraged and sometimes feeling hopeful and sometimes feeling broken
and like these drought lands,
i crave for a sense of community to wash over me,
renewing my spirit
reminding me of why i immigrated here years ago.
my soul needs more than this.



Filed under writing/poetry

12 responses to “my soul needs more

  1. Your writing is beautifully embodied. Have you ever done spoken word performances?

  2. I read your poem. I read Alexis Pauline Gumbs’ editorial. Beautiful… powerful… i cannot stop my eyes from tearing.
    In struggle together,

  3. Aaminah

    So lovin’ on you.

  4. You have been honoured with a special award!


  5. *crush*

    oh my…this is…oh my


  6. You are masterful with your images. This part: “skid marks on the elevator walls” made my toes curl! Mashallah, as we say. Marvelous.

  7. Batman, am I barely complete?
    am I somehow, however, hurt?
    I know others that say norms of life with people
    means certain lifestyles and
    standards set between good and bad,
    everyone is different, yet same
    the autism makes everyone strange and
    is that too odd?
    autistics are special
    is Batman different?
    somewhat different
    Batman is special
    are autistics really odd too?
    that is strange
    everyone makes autism the same
    yet different is everyone
    bad and good between set standards
    and lifestyles certain
    means people with “life of norms” say that
    others know I hurt
    somehow, however, I am complete
    Barely, I am Batman

    From my December 30th post . . . (aspie here btw)

  8. Oh btw, that’s also an example of word order palindromic poetry. 🙂

  9. oh my goodness love! i can’t believe i didn’t see this until now. this is so beautiful. i’m honored to have anything to do with it!

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