a phone call with an old love interest

Today an old love interest messaged me with her phone number and asked me to contact her.. I had spent a lot of energy trying to get in touch with her earlier this year since A.) I’ve always felt guilty about the way things ended (this is when I was coming out of the closet…and going back in..and coming out…and, well, you get the picture) and B.) the last I had heard, she had *literally* been shipped from a mental institution to some random state and was homeless with her pregnant sister and no PCA (personal care attendant) services.

I was really concerned but apparently I have no reason to be…the girl found Jesus.  And I’m happy she’s happy. She’s clean and doing great. But tell me, how is it that someone can talk for 45 minutes and not ask about the other person once???  Even if you don’t really care, you’re supposed to ask about how the other person is doing! IT’S A RULE! 

I wanted to tell her I came out. I wanted to tell her about my summer in DC. I wanted to tell her I was sorry for everything that happened… but she’d rather talk about her damn pimple and the latest book she’s reading. A PIMPLE! It’s been a year and she wants to talk about a temporary PIMPLE?

It’s not that I want to talk about myself, maybe I wanted closure. I guess I should have known the conversation wasn’t going to go well when she managed to use the word r*tard and “handicapped” in the opening sentence. (The pit in my stomach gets even worse when disabled people say it…)

Still, is it too much to ask to expect her to be curious about how I’ve been? Am I being completely selfish?? A lot has happened, maybe I just need to be more supportive.



Filed under queer

4 responses to “a phone call with an old love interest

  1. bev

    Can you spell relief? (Sorry it’s from an old ad for Alka Seltzer…) Sounds like you escaped a lot of grief leaving this person behind. I hope you are over the guilt thing.

  2. No, you are not selfish but she is unable to go there, to be that concerned. Just be glad she didn’t talk about Jesus for 45 minutes! Best to move on and live your life. You may yet get closure in another time and place with her if she gets past herself.

  3. Isn’t it tragic that “finding Jesus” always seems to bring such negative results for everyone else. I say this as self identified a proud Christian who goes to church every week. But luckily I still haven’t “found Jesus”. You are not selfish.

  4. No you were not being selfish.
    She was, and especially using those words to you.

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